Teenage is a most confusing period for both kids and parents as well. Managing a teenager is a challenging task for the parents. The lack of wisdom might have led to creating the worst situation in the minds of our kids. Years back, I had undergone severe dilemmas and confusion when I was a teenager. During that time my mom had played a very important role in my life to mold me to grow up a better individual. Here I recall the tips she has done for me.
Explain the Facts of Life
Teenage is a period when the kid has to face both physical and emotional growth and frustrations. Sometimes the parents hesitate to open up with the kids saying about the emotional and sexual changes that happen in their bodies and mind. For girls, the Mom should say and give confidence to their kids to step up the real womanhood. The mother should be an icon of confidence always. The fathers should protect their sons from emotional outbreaks at this age. You should be knowing how to deal with the fact that dads are really bad about talking about sexuality to their sons. Do not hesitate or be confused while speaking about these matters with your kids. Your stability is the best way of showing the kids that they should face whatever happens in their lives with a positive attitude. Finally, the parents should know that this is very common and teenager is a period that has to go for each human being in the world.
Tell them what they can control and what they can’t.
The hormonal changes will affect your kids in very dramatic ways in their lives. But they don’t have to give in. In your teen years, the hormonal changes inside your body will often make you want to be sullen, angry, and stand-offish. But that doesn’t mean you have to be that way.
Another very freeing thing is to tell them they can choose their actions, but they can’t change habits overnight, and they can’t choose the thoughts that will come into their heads. Tell your teens that their bodies will cause them to think thoughts they never thought of before, but these thoughts don’t define them. If they have a hard time controlling impure thoughts, join the club. And if they have acted impurely because of those thoughts, that doesn’t define them either.
God is head over heels in love with them, because he sees who they really are, and he can and will restore their innocence in Confession. He asks for sincere effort, not perfect performance.
Stand firm. They will thank you later (well, probably)
Saying ‘no’ to the needs of teenage kids is just like you are inviting a storm into your house. That may destroy everything in a second. But for their goodness and as a good parent you should have to keep a consistency towards your teenager. The parents should have the courage to say ‘no’ to several things that the unwanted desire of their child. You know what they need and what they actually want. Make a sensible choice and be prudent while treating them with your ‘no’s. There may be some push and pulls always at home. But on certain things, parents have stood firm. And be always glad whatever you do for them. Years after they will come to you and thank you. It may be happening until they become a parent of their teenage kids. Till then wait for that appreciation.
Don’t be upset when they won’t talk, but be ready when they will
You need to inform your children of things, even if they don’t want to talk about them. In fact, many teens will seem like they don’t want to talk about anything. But you will find magical moments when teens do want to talk, maybe once in a blue moon.
These discussions will happen late at night, right before your bedtime — or, just as likely, when you happen to be up past your bedtime. The rule for you is this: When this happens, you don’t get to sleep, no matter what you have on your schedule the next day. This is a rare opportunity, and it is not to be missed for anything. Stay up. Talk.
Pray with them
We do a nightly Rosary with our teens, and we have required even reluctant and grumpy teens to join us. Even when the teen openly mocked the exercise. They may be reluctant to pray, but you have to pray for them intensively. Pray to God to bless you abundantly with more patience and care. These prayers definitely will help them in their paths. He is ultimately the one who is in charge of your teen and will be beside your child long after the memory of home life has faded. It is imperative to keep that clear from the start.
He will do a lot better job than you can ever do.
Sunisha V F