There are three types of anger that help shape how we react in a situation that makes us angry. These are Passive Aggression, Open Aggression, and Assertive Anger. If you are angry, the best approach is Assertive Anger. Literally, they are huge words but check out what each type really means.
Passive Aggression
People do not admit that they are angry. They don’t like confrontation – this is called passive aggression. This comes out in things like becoming silent when you are angry, sulking, procrastinating (putting stuff off you need to do), and pretending “everything is fine”. Passive aggression comes from a need to be in control.
Open Aggression
On the other hand, many people have a tendency to lash out in anger and rage, becoming physically or verbally aggressive and can often times hurt themselves or others. This is called Open Aggression. This may result in fighting, bullying, blackmailing, accusing, shouting, bickering, sarcasm and criticism. Open aggression has to be controlled.
Assertive Anger
The healthy way to deal with anger is by being controlled and confident, talking and listening, and being open to help in dealing with the situation. Assertive anger can help relationships to grow. Think before you speak, be confident in how you say it, yet open and flexible to the ‘other side. It means being patient; not raising your voice; communicating how you are feeling emotionally, and really trying to understand what others are feeling. When you deal with anger assertively, you demonstrate that you are mature and care about your relationships and yourself.
Forgiveness is always important; if a person has apologized for making you angry, or if you realize that the situation “isn’t worth it”, be open to forgiving. And willing to be forgiven and forgive yourself! This will help you to calm down and will help your relationships with others to flourish.
Remember that you are important. Your life counts, and you can make a difference in this world.