God has given to women a special ability to deal with crises in life. Surviving in its best way is the specialty of the nature of women. Catholicnews. in introduces you to such a woman on this Women’s Day. Read the story of 42-year-old Shany, and of her confidence, courage, and survival as a Catholic faith icon of the year.
Shany, who was working as a nurse in Hyderabad, decided to go abroad for a job and to find some relief from the financial difficulties at home. At the time the news arrived that everything was ready including the flight ticket, Shany had a medical report in her right hand; it was a biopsy report confirming that she had breast cancer.
It happened to be an unfortunate time of pain and suffering as well as financial hardship. Shany fought undeterred in the face of fate. It was a mighty struggle with courage and faith, and above all she accepted sufferings as blessings from God. That was what Shany did. Biju is her husband. They are from the parish at Ponkunnam, in Kottayam district, Kerala.
Shany came back home on an emergency leave at the end of 2020 while she has been working as a nurse in Hyderabad for many years. Her husband Biju’s father was in critical condition after suffering a stroke then. So, Shany’s family had to find a huge amount of money for their father’s medical needs. Shany couldn’t return for work as she had to take care of her father-in-law.
Her husband, who was a daily wage laborer, could not make ends meet with the meager income he earned. During that time their only son Joseph got a fever. When Shany took him to the hospital for a consultation, her husband Biju forced her to meet a gynecologist as she has been suffering from a mild lump under her left back. When they met a gynecologist, the doctor directed them to consult a surgeon. The surgeon asked for a scan. It was then sent for a biopsy. On the day when the result came, Shany received a phone call informing her that everything was in order for her to go abroad.
When the Tip of the Iceberg
The family was more distressed than Shany herself when everyone came to know about her illness. “I didn’t feel anything special. But it was very difficult for my husband to accept it. We didn’t have the money needed for medical treatment and it was a problem to be solved urgently. I was told to exchange my chance to go abroad with someone else because my illness in the advanced stage. Our Father’s illness, his treatment, and other expenses were out of the blue for us. Added to that, my illness and required treatment could be the tip of the iceberg,” Shany revealed her situation during the early days of her disease.
Doctors advised to have immediate surgery as she was diagnosed with cancer in her left breast. “I didn’t even know where to go for the money needed. However, we managed to have the surgery; we had to sell all our personal earnings and take a loan.” It can be said that Shany’s life of suffering started with the removal of her breast. “There was no one to stay with me in the hospital after the surgery,” she recalls. Shany’s mother-in-law, Reethamma, was looking after her husband’s father as he was sick and bedridden. As Shany’s own mother was very old, it was not practical for her to come to the hospital and be a bystander to Shany. Neither could Shany’s elder sister could help them.
A vital organ had been removed from her body. A small fault in the surgery made Shany’s life more painful. The doctor happened not to insert a drain (a special device to drain pus) which is normally required during surgery. After the surgery, the entire area got infected. She had to go through very painful days.
Besides her severe physical pain, Shany had to go through a lot of mental tension and strain. It seemed she had been surrounded by pain from all sides. Due to the hardships at home, Shany could not take proper rest after surgery and its aftereffects. She had to start doing all the household chores since there was nobody else to substitute for her. Although she was often tempted to complain to God about her terrible hardships, gradually Shany got closer to God through those complaints. However, the loan taken for her surgery and treatment remained a big problem unresolved.
Cancer is a frightening illness, and it is everywhere. There is no discrimination between the rich and the poor. What is important at the face of this illness is that it affects not only our body but also our mind. When life seems to be blocked, when there is no one to help, when you are drinking only the bitter tears of pain, it becomes a big challenge to remain steadfast. We place our trust in God. He will show us the way if we hold on to Him without letting him go. There has to be a firm conviction that nothing happens in our lives without God’s knowledge. That’s why I said only one thing to God, ‘I will bear the pain. But, Lord, it is a disease that you have given. Then you have to pay for the treatment yourself. “God, faithful in his promises, kept his word. Along with the suffering, he also gave me the money to treat me through my friends,” laughs Shany sharing her experience of faith in God.
17 Cycles of Chemotherapy and a Stroke
Once the aftereffects of the surgery ended, chemotherapy was started began. Although the breast was removed, cancer cells had been spread to Shany’s lungs, throat, and brain. Being a nurse, this knowledge has been both an advantage and a disadvantage for Shany. This helped to create awareness about the disease. But at the same time, she had an idea of the pain and the aftereffects of the treatment. However, Shany says that even if she is a little worried, it has helped her a lot to understand things. However, chemotherapy drugs have to be administered through a vein in the arm. Since the surgery has been completed on the left side, it is not possible to do chemo on that hand as well. Therefore, the medicine is administered only through the right hand.
A condition where pain rushes through the nerves throughout the body. As a side effect of the medicine, all her hair fell out. She had incessant vomiting after chemotherapy. Not being able to eat, thinking about home, worrying about her son and husband, the tears of her loved ones, financial hardships…all these thoughts were consuming Shany’s mind and body. Chemotherapy was done through only one arm, so that arm was also a problem. It was a terrible situation.
“I couldn’t even eat a single meal by myself. When the chemo was over, I would throw up a lot. Extreme helplessness. I had 17 cycles of chemotherapy. I couldn’t do the chemo through the vein in my arm because of the infection. I had to continue the treatment. So I started to sting my leg. Then my leg started to pus. A chain of diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, and cholesterol ensued. Finally, the heart and lungs are filled with water.”
She has been going through severe pain and experiencing acute breathing problems. She lost consciousness and was admitted to the ICU. Even the doctors did not think that she would come out alive. But God’s plan was different. After a week, Shany was shifted from ICU.
There was still more to be written about Shany’s life. In between, the blood pressure increased and Shany had a stroke. Later had to be confined to a wheelchair. Currently, there are two people who can’t do anything on their own at home. The situation of the family became very difficult. So Shany was taken by her sister to their home. Her sister Shini took care of the exhausted Shany like a little baby for a month.
“Then I came back home but it started getting difficult to live there. That was when covid-19 was at its peak. Both of us, me and my father-in-law were in the home. The doctors said that it is not good for both of us to live together. So my husband, our son and myself moved a rented house. I am in a wheelchair, my son is in class six. My husband has to go to work. He used to go to work after getting up early in the morning and doing all my things in the kitchen. He was ready to do any work because the need for money was so huge. It was a great blessing to have our son with me because there was no class due to the Covid pandemic. But sometimes the disease shows all its bad traits. But God was always there” – Shany describes the details of her suffering.
In the Dying Moments…
Despite all the treatment and prayers, Shany’s health was deteriorating from time to time. On the sick bed, almost unconscious and severe pain, with closed eyes and she would doze off. “Sometimes when I was in a trance, our son would come and put his hand on my nose to see if I was breathing, other times he would forcefully hold my eyes and open them. He even doubted whether I would come back healthy or not.
But the Lord protected and saved me from everything. Meanwhile, all of us got Covid, but we all miraculously survived it. The right hand of God’s providence was always upon us. Meantime her husband Biju had a fall while at work and broke his spine and became bedridden. After that, both my father and Biju’s father died within a gap of two months. All the while we were strongly tempted to put the blame on God for everything that happened to us. But I remembered the life of Job in the Bible. Job did not deny God even in the midst of all his miseries and God returned all the riches to Job. Similarly, God helped us to survive and protected us even this moment,” reveals Shany with a smile.
A Prayer Diary of Obligation
Shany would often narrate stories of people who helped them overcome the crises. There have been many who helped them financially and with prayer: Shany’s nursing batch mates, undergraduate batch mates, other friends, priests, sisters, doctors, nurses, and so on.
“There were people on every continent to pray for me. Many people helped financially for the treatment. There are those who called me over the phone in person and shared their care and concern. In moments of worry, God would let someone call on the phone, console and comfort us. They would listen to me like messengers sent by God in my worries; they would comfort me with their soothing words.
God never allowed me to feel the pain of isolation. I have written in a diary the names of all those whom God has sent to be with me, and all those who have helped me. It is my responsibility to name all of them before His Highness and pray for them as long as I live. Even if I forget, I have their names in this diary, so I can pray. I am forever indebted to God and my loved ones,” she expresses her gratitude with tears in her eyes.
Although the treatments are over, Shany still needs regular checkup. She is not healthy enough to return to work, despite her financial losses. Even though she was out of her wheelchair Shany’s memory has been a little blurry from time to time. However, this family is looking forward with prayers to supporting the family through working and believing that everything will be fine: To pay off debts, move out of the rented house, and build a small house of their own, to give her son a good education, to take good care of her elderly mother, to be a helping hand to her husband who is in financial crunches… Shany thankfully puts her wishes before God.
From Shany’s life, we can gather a clear picture of what happens when cancer occurs in a family. Shany has been a brave cancer warrior who overcame everything with extraordinary courage and faith in God. She says that the most important thing is to look at life with the hope of overcoming even the hardest situations of life.
She, as a brave woman, recounts now the pain she went through with a smile. So, we can call her the ambassador of confidence and icon of faith.
“Don’t get weary and tired of yourself. No matter how much pain you feel, and you feel tired of yourself, others will feel tired of themselves. Our life thereafter will be terrible. I have asked God many times why He has been leaving in the Gethsemane of pain. But I became very close to God through my complaints. Stay close to Him. Whatever happens, believe firmly that it is for good. Always be steadfast to Him. Everything will be returned to us. Never give up and move forward,” Shany’s words are full of the strength of experience.
Unlike others, Shany says she never wants to go back to her old life. “It was when I got sick that I got all my loved ones back. I got my friendships back. I felt the love and care of people and the power of prayer the most. The closest to God. So I don’t want to go back from this situation,” says Shany confidently.
Shany has always been a role model who faced her illness and difficulties in life with a smile. People like Shany are a great inspiration for those who are tempted to lose confidence, thinking that cancer means death. The first step to survival is not how long you live, but how you perceive the disease. There are many women who overcome the hardships of life in the best way and remain as the icon of faith and courage. Catholicnews.in shares its Women’s Day greetings to all the women who are ambassadors of self-confidence, who do not give up even in the hardest circumstances, and who are bravely fighting with deep faith in God.
Sunisha V. F.