Three days after Christmas, the Church celebrates a feast day for the Holy Innocents. On 28 December, we celebrate it.
It is the day that commemorates all the babies and toddlers who were put to death by King Herod. Actually, it was the attempt to get rid of the baby Jesus. Herod heard that Jesus was supposed to be the Messiah and King, and he was afraid of wanting anything to threaten his rule.
Many of us have experienced the pain of the loss of our own innocent child. If you or someone close to you has lost a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or abortion, is a good day to remember those babies on the feast day of Holy Innocents.
It is hard to bear the shock of losing a baby who was alive one day and then dead. You can’t grieve in the same way as you would if you had lost a child post-womb. So, it is important to make time to grieve, and a feast celebrating the lives of babies taken too soon is a perfect opportunity.
Here are 5 ways to make the day a special time of remembrance for anyone who has lost an unborn baby.
1. Visit a Memorial for the UnbornÂ
Some Catholic churches have a special statue or place set for the unborn. If your baby was buried somewhere, try to visit that spot today instead. Take some time to say a few prayers or just sit in silence, reflecting on the love and mercy of God, a God who cares for the sparrows and who knows the hairs on your head knows your pain, and your baby, better than you do yourself. Slowly read through Psalm 139 to help you pray and grieve.
2. Send a Note to a Friend who has Lost a Baby
Accompanying others’ suffering gives them the best solace always. If you are not particularly close to someone but feel drawn to send them something, try sending a physical note in the mail. It is not common practice to respond to a card in the mail. So, if you send a card, then you take the pressure off the recipient (she doesn’t have to respond like she might feel obliged to if it were a text) and she can just have the note and appreciate the sentiment.
3. Celebrate their Short Lives with Festive
Have a cupcake or buy some flowers. Listen to some beautiful music. Be with someone you love and do something fun together to remember the life of your child and savor your own life.
4. Reflect on God’s Plan
You may have already experienced something beautiful or meaningful that God has brought from your pain. But, the more you reflect on your experience, and your life since your loss, the more you will uncover — God’s goodness is so great, even (and especially) at our darkest times.