Maintaining confidence is very important for a successful life. Due to the lack of confidence, many people have lost their better careers, chances, and lifestyles. To maintain and build up your confidence level, there are several helpful suggestions.
Although some of them might seem insignificant at the moment, practising them for weeks, months, and years will have a tremendous impact on your personality and behavior, and the world will start to perceive you differently. There may be several bad habits and behaviours that are to be eliminated. Get rid of them and replace them with better habits and behaviours, and your self-confidence will improve.
- Poor Eye Contact
Eye contact is very important in communication. It helps create trust, build up connections, show one’s sincerity, signal higher self-esteem, and is associated with greater leadership and intellectual qualities.
Lack of eye contact can have a reverse effect on your communication.
If looking into people’s eyes is too intimidating for you, there’s one trick, look at the bridge of the nose. (They can’t tell the difference.) Also, if you meet with someone in the eyes, let the other one be the first to break eye contact.
- Constantly Checking in
Constantly checking in displays zero confidence. It’s a necessary behaviour that shows you’re unsure of yourself, you need reassurance, and you’re terrified to lose that meeting. It also shows you expect others to flake and, because of that, your behaviours make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Confident people, however, don’t have a mentality of scarcity and aren’t afraid to lose things. They know their worth and they know they can handle whatever comes their way.
- Negative Self-Talk
Avoiding negative self-talk is very important for building up confidence. Sometimes people call themselves boring, lazy, fat, etc. Or when they make a mistake, they say, “I’m so stupid!” or “I can’t do anything right.”
Watch your words because they become your reality.
Be very careful about what you say after “I am…,”: Your subconscious is always listening. If you say it enough times, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, negative self-talk is linked to mental health problems, less motivation, more helplessness, and even depression.
- Poor Appearance
Wearing expensive designer brands or trying to impress people with your style may not help increase your confidence.
It’s important, how you consider yourself and how you present yourself to the world.
How you appear tells a lot about how you feel about yourself.
Are you wearing shabby clothes? Is your hair sloppy? Do you walk timidly with slouched shoulders and arms that don’t swing?
- Deflecting
Imagine someone telling you, “You did a great job!” and you reply, “I made a lot of mistakes; I hope no one saw them.” Or someone says, “That was great!” and you reply, “Ahh, I just got lucky.”
That’s called “deflecting.”
According to Dr. Gay Hendricks, “Deflection keeps the positive energy from landing, being received, and being acknowledged.” It might seem humble, but it shows you can’t accept compliments and it perpetuates the feeling that you aren’t good enough. By never accepting praise, you’ll feel disappointed with yourself, which can lead to a self-defeating cycle.
Just try to start accepting compliments politely. Don’t just deflect or immediately return the compliment (“You were great too!”); just accept that positive energy and thank them for it.
- Poor Communication
When communicating, confidence is about the “signal-to-noise” ratio. The higher your signal (the message you’re trying to convey) versus your noise (whatever detracts from it), the more confident you appear. Here are some common issues that create “noise” and show low confidence and social IQ:
Fillers—uh, um, like, ahh, you know, and yeah, etc.
Talking too fast
Rambling or being long-winded
Up talk—ending your sentences with an upward inflection that sounds like a question
Non-verbal tics—fidgeting, shaking legs, tapping feet, biting nails, gesturing too quickly, etc.
Instead, communicate authoritatively. Practice confident body language and speak clearly and concisely. Also, take time to pause, which gives listeners a chance to process what you say.
- Apologizing When You Don’t Need to Apologize
One interesting way where people subtly sabotage their confidence is by saying “sorry” when they don’t need to.
If you didn’t do anything wrong and you’re still apologizing, it can hurt your confidence. It makes you feel like you’re indebted to people or that you’re afraid to stand up for yourself.
If you say “sorry” a lot, notice when you do it and what it’s for. It might mean you need to learn how to assert yourself in a fair, respectful way and be comfortable with uncomfortable situations.