Visiting cancer patients has been found very difficult sometimes. We might have gone through in dilemma while facing cancer patients. Today, most people with cancer are treated as outpatients, meaning they don’t have to stay in the hospital. Instead of being sympathetic, we should bring them support, encouragement, and hope.
Research has found that cancer survivors with strong emotional support tend to better adjust to the changes cancer brings, have a more positive outlook, and often report better quality of life. People with cancer expect support from their friends a lot. You can make a big difference in the life of someone with cancer by giving hope.
You should open up your eyes to the things you can offer to your cancer-affected friend. Try to understand their ups and downs as their situation may change as treatment goes on. Then you can think what the best things you can do for their better being. Here we will give you some ideas about where to start.
What you can do: Jottings and Phone Calls
Let them know that they are important to you. Show that you still care for your friend despite changes in what they can do or how they look.
You Can:
- Send brief, frequent notes or texts, or make short, regular calls
- Ask questions
- End a call or note with “I’ll be in touch again soon,” and follow throughCall at times that work best for your friend or set times for them to call youReturn their messages right away
- Check-in with the person who helps with their daily care (caregiver) to see what else they might need.
Regular Visits
Cancer has a huge negative power of giving isolation. So, try to spend time with your friend.
Always call before you visit. Sometimes your friend may not be in a health condition to receive a visitor. You should give physical and emotional support for the caregiver, too.
- Try to visit at times other than weekends or holidays, when others may visit. Time can seem the same to a house-bound patient. A Tuesday morning can be just as lonely as a Saturday night.
- Take your own needlework, crossword puzzle, or book, and keep your friend company while they doze or watch TV.
- Share music they enjoy, watch their favorite TV show, or watch a movie with your friend.Read sections of a book or newspaper, or find topics of interest online and summarize them for your friend.
- Offer to take a short walk with your friend if they are up to it.
- Don’t be afraid to touch, hug, or shake hands with your friend..
Conversation
Many people worry that how to deal with cancer patients when they go for a visit. Try to remember that the most important thing is not what you say – it’s that you’re there and willing to listen. Try to hear and understand how your friend feels. Let them know that you’re open to talking whenever they feel like it. Or, if the person doesn’t feel like talking, let them know that’s OK, too.
- Listen without always feeling that you have to respond. Sometimes a caring listener is what the person needs most.
- Gear the conversation to your friend’s attention span so they don’t feel overwhelmed or guilty about not being able to talk.
- Help your friend focus on whatever brings out good feelings, such as sports, religion, travel, or pets.
- Help your friend keep an active role in the friendship by asking advice, opinions, and questions – even if you don’t get the response you expect.
- Ask your friend if they’re having any discomfort. Suggest new ways to be more comfortable, such as using more pillows or moving the furniture.
- Give honest compliments, such as “You look rested today.”Support your friend’s feelings. Allow them to be negative, withdrawn, or silent. Resist the urge to change the subject.
- Don’t urge your friend to fight the disease if they feel it’s too hard to do it.
- Don’t tell them how strong they are; they may feel the need to act strong even when they’re sad or exhausted.
- Be sure to include your friend when talking to others in the room.
- Assume that your friend can hear you even if they seem to be asleep or dazed.
- Don’t offer medical advice or your opinions on things like diet, vitamins, and herbal therapies.
- Respect their decisions about how their cancer care will be treated, even if you disagree.Don’t remind them of past behaviors that might be related to the illness, such as drinking or smoking. Some people feel guilty over those things.
- Ask your friend questions. Ask for their advice and opinions.
Some people find it hard to accept support – even when they need it. Don’t be surprised or hurt if your friend refuses help. It’s not you. It’s more about pride and their need for independence.
- Provide emotional support through your presence and your touch.
- Help the caregiver. In doing so, you’ll help your friend. Many people are afraid of being a burden to their loved ones.
- Offer practical ideas on what you can do to help, and then follow through.
- Assume your help is needed, even if there are others also helping out.
- If your friend needs medical equipment or money for treatment, you can look into getting something donated or organizing ways to help raise money.