There are people who say that no matter how much you praise children, they won’t be satisfied enough. There are also others who believe that giving children too much praise will aggravate them and make them feel entitled to anything and everything.
Questions may come up. How much praise can you give to your child? What kind of praise can you give? What kinds of praise will motivates a child? Or what kinds of praise can do harm to a child? Â And how much is the most effective? Here we try to provide answers to these questions:
Not all praises are equally beneficial.      Â
Too much praise can be harmful to the children. Some parents are in the habit of giving their children undeserved praise to boost their self-confidence. However, children can be smart enough to understand that their parents are exaggerating and that what they say is nonsense. Moreover, children may feel they do not deserve the kind of praise and therefore may lose even their trust in their parents.
Competency-based praise is required. For instance, if your daughter is a good artist, of course, naturally, you will praise her. It will help her become more proficient in her skills. But it can also have a certain negative impact. If the child is praised only for innate abilities, the child may think that such abilities do not matter much. They may hesitate to take on new tasks due to the fear of failure. When it comes to something she needs to try and achieve, she may reply, ‘I’m not good at it, I can’t do it—why should I try and fail.’ That is why it may be very good to encourage them even when they are doing something different.
Praise on the success of constant effort is the best. Instead of just praising for their innate talents, praise the children for their hard work and continuous effort. As a result, they learn a basic truth—it takes patience and hard work to develop their skills. It also requires hard work. Once they realize this fact, “they will be willing to work as hard as it takes to get the desired result. In the meantime, if something goes wrong, they will not see it as a failure, but instead, as a stepping stone to success.
Appreciate your child’s hard work. Saying “I appreciate your hard work to complete this picture” is more beneficial than saying “You are a born artist”. Both these statements are praise. But with the second statement, the child will feel that it can shine only in those areas where innate talents can be demonstrated, unknowingly, you are communicating this idea into their minds.
Give constructive criticism. Talking about a child’s failures in an appropriate manner will not destroy his/her self-confidence, but rather, help them grow. And they receive wise counsel as to what further progress can be made when regular praise is given. It is possible that, later, when they achieve it, that will be something joyful for both of you.