The wise have a sense of death as they are very close to the end of their life. May be, God Himself instills feelings like, they won’t be on earth for much longer. If you are able to take it in this manner, it will turn out to be a great blessing from God.
Kabeer has written about Swans flying back to their own habitat.
O Swan, awake, arise, follow me! There is land where no doubt nor sorrow have rule: where the terror of death is no more.
They themselves know when they have to go back. No one needs to tell them that. When the time comes, the mind will tell, the time has come. Everything that has to be done on earth is over. Now it is the time to return home.
“Swan is a symbol of purity in the East because it is so white. It is a symbol of purity also because it lives in the Himalayas, and it drinks the purest water there. There is a lake in the Himalayas, Mansarovar. Water in it is the purest water in the world because the air is absolutely unpolluted. Rarely does a man reach there, very rarely, may be one in a few years; journey, so long, arduous, and dangerous. Swans live in that lake. Only when it is too cold and the lake gets frozen do they come to the plains; otherwise, they live there, that is their native place. Once the winter ends they start flying back to the Himalayas.
Swan is also a symbol that this world is not our home, this pool of muddy water is not our real home. We belong to some other world: the world of the Himalayas, of virgin peaks, of the purest lakes. We belong to Mansarovar. We shouldn’t forget; shouldn’t be immersed in the muddy water of this world. Be mindful, always be mindful of your real home.” (Excerpts from the book The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol. 5)
Swans returning to their original habitat at the end of the winter are also symbolic to the humans. Symbols which remind us of the ultimate truth that our eternal abode is not here in this world. The wise have a sense of death when they are very close to the end of their lives. May be, God Himself deposits feelings like: they will not be on earth for much longer. If you are able take it in this manner, it will turn out to be a great blessing from God.
In the Old Testament, Isaac, when he was so old, called and told his older son Esau: “My son, see, I am old; I don’t know the day of my death” (Gen 27: 1-2). Jacob also spoke similarly as he bade them farewell: “I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my ancestors in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite.” (Gen 49: 29).
Joseph also foretold about his imminent death: “And Joseph said unto his brethren, I die, and go unto my fathers; and I go down to my grave with joy” (Gen. 50: 24).
Jesus Christ also knew that his journey to Jerusalem was to be a journey to death. He prophesied three times about his suffering and death. “From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes and be killed and on the third day be raised” (Matthew 16: 21, 17: 22-23, 20: 17-19).
What would be the state of mind of those who are convinced that they have no much time left on this earth, and it is time to return? What will be the feeling of those who hear it?
Jesus Christ, realizing that he was going to be handed over to torture, knelt down and prayed: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me” (Luke 22: 42).
If it happened so with Christ, what would be the situation of a common man? Wouldn’t everyone have a desire to live a little longer? Even those, who say that they are ready for death, may still want to live on. But those, who are convinced that a return is impossible, may accept death. But when the one, who is about to die, announces that he/she will no longer be in this world, those who really love him/her become extremely sad. In such a situation even the thought that the person is going to God and heaven may not bring any immediate relief to the dear ones.
I myself had to go through a similar situation on 21st December 2018. That evening, I had come to the hospital to visit Sr. Jessy. There was Sr. Ann Mary to took care of Sr. Jessy. It was a very painful day for Sr. Jessy. I sat beside her with the consoling words like:
‘I am praying for you; you will be relieved of the pain soon.’
Her agony, in fact, made me extremely sad.
Meantime, Sr. Ann Mary went to the Nursing Station to communicate something. Then Sr. Jessy told me:
“I feel extremely weary; I may not able to carry on. I wish to have the Last Sacrament.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I was incredibly shocked; I even doubted if I heard it true or it was just a feeling. Because I never expected Sr. Jessy would make such a request to me directly.
The Last Sacrament – Anointing of the Sick – is administered for the physical and spiritual health of a patient. This is not to be given only as a preparation for death. But in this situation, I knew that it would in preparation for Sr. Jessy’s eternal journey. Still I doubted whether it was a seriously made request or a mistake in what I heard?
I looked at Sr. Jessy incredulously. She was also looking at me. I saw her eyes were waiting for my response. I was about to open my mouth to ask:
“Did you say, you need the Last Sacrament?”
But suddenly Sr. Ann Mary who had gone to the nursing station, came back. With that, I became silent and swallowed the question I was about to ask. There was silence for several minutes. No one said anything. I felt as if something exploding inside my head. I opened the door and went out of the room. I walked along the veranda for some time.
‘Did she really tell me? Did she really ask for the Last Sacrament? Was it my feeling or imagination?’ Several similar questions came up in my mind.
I returned to the room. Sr. Ann Mary was getting ready to go out to buy supper. When she left, I came close to Sr. Jessy’s bed. I asked her in a very low voice:
“Did you really mean, you feel terribly weary and unable to carry on?”
She nodded as she meant “yes.”
“Did you actually ask for prayer?” I asked her.
“Yes, I wish, I should be administered the Last Sacrament as early as possible.” She replied.
It was not the answer I expected. I felt my heart being broken; my eyes were filled with tears. I felt being in a dilemma; my own sister asks for the Last Sacrament; she may be having a dim premonition of her imminent departure from this world!
Controlling myself and without revealing my stumbles I asked her:
“Do you want to pray today itself?’’
The answer was, “yes.”
“We can also arrange for one or two priests from Kottayam.” I told.
She nodded her head agreeing to the proposal.
“Should we not inform the Mother Provincial?” I asked again.
She said yes without speaking.
“Should we tell our own mother and siblings?” I asked.
She gestured:
”No.”
It might be because of the thought that such a situation would bring too much grief to our mother and siblings.
“In that case, I won’t tell them,” I said.
Then I sat in the chair beside her bed.
For some time we didn’t speak to each other, neither did we even look at each other. Sr. Jessy closed her eyes and withdrew into her pain. I stared into the void. Silence reigned between us. Yet deep down in our hearts we talked to each other.
I knew very well that those moments were very precious. Sr. Jessy has been through her last hours on this earth. I felt so sad. However, I didn’t cry. I felt like the contingency of a wrecked ship stranded on an unknown Island. I don’t know how long I sat there like that. I slowly got up from the chair as soon as I felt that the storm of wind in my mind has been subsiding. Holding her hand, I said:
”I should come at the earliest, we can have the prayer around 7.30 in the evening.”
“Mm…”
Her response was in a very low voice.
I left the room. The sister who had gone to buy supper had come back by then. As a great intervention from God, two of our siblings arrived at that time! Sr. Ancy, just elder to Jessy, and Sam, just younger to her.
I discussed everything with Sam.
“Did she herself ask for the Last Sacrament?’’
Sam’s question hid a painful surprise.
“Sr. Jessy knows better than us, exactly what and when the things are to be done. She is wiser than all of us,” Sam’s soliloquy.
Around 7.30, the priests arrived, Fr. Johny Madathipparambil and Fr. Antony Chirakkalmanavalan; both are councilors from MCBS Provincial House, Kottayam. Sr. Jessy Manayath DST, the Provincial Superior, and a few nuns arrived from their Provincial House, Palai.
We started the liturgical ceremony for the Anointing of the Sick lighting the candles. I myself was the celebrant. Fr. Antony helped me reciting the prayers aloud; I was afraid, I would not be able to complete the prayers due to grief.
“Peace and hope to people on earth, always and forever.”
The prayer started with the greeting from the celebrant.
Sr. Jessy, lying down with folded hands, actively participated in the prayer. She recited the prayers along with others.
After the reading of the Gospel there was the intercessory prayers; the response at the end of each prayer was:
“Lord, have mercy upon this sister.”
We all noticed that Sr. Jessy’s lips were moving with all the responses.
After the intercessory prayer, there was the laying of hands, during which the celebrant extends his right hand over the sick person.
“May the Lord help you, transform your sufferings and grief and they become redemptive,” I prayed very fervently.
This was followed by the prayer of anointing with the holy oil, which is in accordance with James 5: 14-15:
“Is anyone among you suffering? He should summon the presbyters of the church, and they should pray over him and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord, and the prayer of faith will raise him up. If he has committed any sins, he will be forgiven.”
First, the celebrant has to make the sign of the cross with the holy oil on the forehead of the sick person. My hands were shivering and my heart beat too increased.
Prayerfully I dipped my thumb in the oil and made the sign of the cross on the forehead of Sr. Jessy. I prayed,
For spiritual and physical healing, Sr. Jessy is anointed and sanctified in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Next was on the eyelids.
If your eyes, that saw the glory of God, have caused you to sin, may God forgive you, In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Then, I anointed her ears with the prayer:
If your ears, that heard the word of God, have caused you to sin, may God forgive you, In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Next, was the anointing of the lips with the prayer:
If your lips, that sang the divine praises, have caused you to sin, may God forgive you, In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Next, on both hands with the prayer:
If your hands, that were used to help others, have caused you to sin, may God forgive you, In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Then, on the feet with the prayer:
If your feet that walked in the house of God have caused you to sin, may God forgive you, In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Prayer sanctifies, renews and gives hope to all. After the anointing with the Holy oil and the prayer, I felt as if the room was brighter, and the great divine spirit spreading all over there!
The final blessing of the Anointing of the Sick is very touching. I prayed placing my right hand on Sr. Jessy:
May God the Father bless you, giving you all the spiritual gifts through our Lord Jesus Christ. Forgiving your sins, may He sanctify you. May He send His heavenly hosts to protect you always. May He strengthen you to bear the sorrows of life cheerfully and to offer yourself to the cross of Christ? May He empower you to live, placing your hope in everlasting bliss. May He bless abundantly your near ones and those who serve you, and all who have participated in this sacred service. Now, always and forever, Amen.
Then I made her kiss the crucifix, a brown-colored wooden crucifix. She held it with her both hands while she was kissing it. It was a divine hug from someone who earnestly participated in the sufferings of the crucified Jesus!
The memory of an Ash Wednesday in my childhood suddenly came to my mind. The memory of Sr. Jessy making the sign of the cross on my forehead with the ash which was brought from our parish church. She then commented:
“Good, such a cute cross! The small cross is enough for small children.”
I was very small then, four or five years old. After a long time, today I have the chance to make the sign of the cross with holy oil on her forehead, eyes, ears, lips, arms, and feet. Finally, I let her kiss the crucifix too.
Once the prayer service was over everyone bid farewell to Sr. Jessy with a kiss of peace. She responded with a sweet smile on her face. There was not even a trace of grief on her face. But we noticed a drop of tear rolled up into the corner of her left eye. It has been shining like anything in the light of the room. But it did not drip down her cheek. Gradually, it disappeared.
I don’t know whether that drop of tear was symbolic of the joy of prayer or of the grief of imminent death.
For happiness in seeing his friend (Kuchela)
Or sadness his pathetic condition found.
For He is in tears, as never before,
For he never cried at all ever before,
For Krishna lotus eyed is brave ever
I do remember this piece of poem which my beloved father used to recite quite often. These lines describe the moments when Krishna meets Kuchela. Then Krishna’s eyes have been filled with tears. What could be the reason?
Was it because of the joy from meeting his best friend or of the sadness caused by Kuchela’s utter poverty? We do not know. We don’t know the cause of these tears too.
That prayer service was a divine experience for all of us. My siblings, Sr. Ancy and Sam, and I did not cry; but there was a sea that was roaring within each one of us.
Sr. Jessy hesitated to have the presence of our dear mother, the elder sisters Sr. Maria and Daisy and elder brother Sunny at the time of the anointing, perhaps because of her reluctance to see them in the context of such a prayer. She might have thought all of us may start crying due to their deep emotion.
As there were too many people in the room, the Mother Provincial and I, went out and walked along the veranda. We felt, it was really a terrible situation, unable to know exactly what to do or what to say.
The veranda ended with an opening to a terrace. I talked to the Mother Provincial from there. I explained about Sr. Jessy’s request for the Last Sacrament. Then she said:
“A few days ago someone told me about administering the anointing of the sick to Sr. Jessy. But I was sure, that God would reveal the right time. Certainly the blessing of God has been there.”
We continued our conversation about Sr. Jessy, events that took place at home, happenings after her joining the convent, and various situations after diagnosing her illness. Only with teary eyes we could conclude our conversation.
Hence, aren’t we all human beings? Just like bubbles, that can burst any moment!
Fr. G. Kadooparayil MCBS