Small talk lets us connect with all kinds of people. We may get an opportunity from strangers in the supermarket to family members at the annual reunion. But we often forget about small talk that is vital to building up and maintaining a relationship. Try these six tips on how to connect with strangers:
- Learn How to Read a Situation
It is important to be able to adapt to people and situations during conversations. Someone’s body language, their tone of voice, and subjects being discussed are all verbal and non-verbal hints. Studies show that only 7 percent of our communication is verbal! The rest is body language and tone.
- Be Interested in Someone else’s Life
Finding a common interesting topic can change the face of your relationship. When you are in a dilemma, you can start your convo by asking about their whereabouts, where they work, and if they like their job, etc.
- Active Listener
When you ask a question, listen actively and patiently for their answer. Don’t bombard someone with too many questions or ask them too quickly. Be calm, cool, and collected in small talk-type situations, and be a good listener, and you will be good to go. By being an active listener, you stop just listening to respond, and start actively listening and caring about the other person. By showing active interest in what the other person says, you make them feel valued and important in the conversation.
- Don’t Ask yes-or-no Questions
The Small Talk Handbook: Easy Instructions on How to Make Small Talk in Any Situation, author Melissa Wadsworth recommends asking questions that “elicit interesting information. If you don’t want to find yourself faced with a ‘yes’ man or a ‘no’ woman, be sure to ask questions that need more than a one-syllable answer.” Wadsworth says that one-word responses can create what she calls a “stop/start dynamic.” So, instead of asking someone if they like the speakers at a conference, you both are at, ask them who their favorite speaker was so far. Instead of asking someone if they had a good weekend, ask what the favorite part of their weekend was.
- Don’t be Afraid to Let Small Talk
Relationships take time, but the small talk phase can be maneuvered through gracefully. In a world of direct tweets and Facebook messages, we’re not used to talking to each other face-to-face. Small talk (and the deeper conversation that can follow) is a great way to start connecting with strangers and friends in our everyday lives off screen.