I know, when he died his eyes were closed, but his heart was open. This is true, when our loved ones die, even if their eyes are closed, their heart will remain open, to love us, yet again.
For they will scarcely brood over the days of their lives, because God keeps them occupied with joy of their hearts (Eccl. 5:20). The Word of God asks us not to be over-worried about the briefness of life. Be happy and make each day joyful. What is important is to lead a joyful life.
In 2007 a Hollywood movie entitled The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson (Edward Cole) and Morgan Freeman (Carter Chambers) was released. In the movie two dying old guys befriend each other, and together they have the adventure of their lives. These two terminally ill men had met in the same hospital and later got out of the cancer ward with a plan to enjoy life to the fullest before they kicked the bucket. So they plan to make a ‘bucket list’, a “list of things to do before you die.”
One of the things on the list was to visit the Taj Mahal in India; another one was to make a trip to the Egyptian pyramids. Their list was long and varied. They started to fulfil the wishes one by one. Finally they arrived in Egypt in order to visit the pyramids. They sat down close to the famous pyramids at Giza. These pyramids of Giza are counted among the largest structures ever built.
They stood in front of the pyramid of Khafre, the second tallest and the second largest of the Ancient Egyptian Pyramids of Giza, and the pyramid of Menkaure, the smallest of the three main Pyramids of Giza.
Without moving his eyes from the pyramids Carter started to tell Edward:
“My dear friend you know, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls reached the gate of heaven, the guards would ask two questions. Their answers would determine whether they will get entry or not.”
Edward was curious about the questions.
Then Carter asked Edward:
“Have you found joy in your life?”
Edward, after a little reflection, replied emphatically:
“Yes.”
Carter, then, asked the second question:
“Has your life brought joy to others?”
But Edward couldn’t give an immediate answer. He reflected for some time and replied:
“I don’t know. Ask them.”
However, Carter didn’t want to leave him with this answer. He said:
“I am asking you,” and waited for his answer. The movie carries on.
In fact, our life is a search for the answers of these questions:
“Have you found joy in your life?”
“Has your life brought joy to others?”
If we are able to reorganize our life in accordance with the dictates of our conscience, we can assess that we have been successful. Being confronted with these questions at the face of our death, our heart might feel like being pierced.
My sister Jessy too died of cancer; ovarian cancer! Two years after she was diagnosed of her illness, I suggested her to watch a few movies with some positive inputs, especially the movie The Bucket List. While giving her The Bucket List to watch, I briefed her on the story and the questions as well. We also found some time to have a discussion after she had watched the movie. To my surprise, her review of the film was more concise and comprehensive than mine. The dreadfulness of the deadly disease, the complexity of the often repeated rounds of chemotherapy and the thought of the death that could be imminent – all these were being silently resounded in her words.
“The religious life that I live today is the best and the most beautiful. I have tried my level best to make the lives of my companions happier. And I will continue to do it. Above all, I pray every day for each of them. God knows everything.”
She concluded the conversation that day.
Just a few days before her death, we had a similar conversation.
“I don’t have any discomfort or discontentment or even a grumble against anyone. Rather, I owe everyone immense gratitude, and now I am fully content.”
These beautiful words of my sister still resonate in my ears.
The movie The Bucket List ends with the sad demise of Carter. Perhaps, he joyfully welcomed death. Those who fully love life, I’m sure, will be able to welcome death very dearly. Edward arrived on time to attend the funeral service for his best friend Carter. His body lie in the coffin adorned with beautiful flowers. Edward wished to bid a tearful final goodbye to his good friend. Staring at everyone and in an awful voice he started to say:
“Good afternoon. My name is Edward Cole. I don’t know what most people say at these occasions because in all honesty, I’ve tried to avoid them.”
He paused for a moment, threw a glance at the coffin, and then continued:
“The simplest thing is I loved him and I miss him.”
He was weeping. He then, took out from his pocket a piece of paper, on which was written a bucket list, and continued saying:
“Carter and I saw the world together, which is amazing when you think that only three months ago we were complete strangers.”
Then he struck out a line on the bucket list which read, ‘help a complete stranger for the good.’ He had already fulfilled that wish.
After taking a deep breath he continued.
“I hope that it doesn’t sound selfish of me, but the last months of his life were the best months of mine.”
While he said these words he appeared to be very much content.
“He saved my life, and he knew it before I did. I’m deeply proud that this man found it worth his while to know me. In the end, I think it’s safe to say that we brought some joy to one another’s lives.”
He was struggling to control his emotions.
His final words were heart-rending.
“So one day, when I go to some final resting place, if I happen to wake up next to a certain wall with a gate, I hope that Carter’s there to vouch for me and show me the ropes on the other side.”
To some extent, I too feel the same. It was during the three years of suffering for my sister Jessy that our family became so close to God. It was during those days that my prayer turned more intense; I offered Mass with renewed passion; I attended Novenas more often; I lit many more candles; I spent extra time with my sister and above all, I loved her more dearly.
At the end, when she bid her final farewell, just as a white dove that flies high in to the skies, we said:
“God was so generous to grant us some time to live together. One who has gone is the one who knows us very well. So one day, when we go to some final resting place, we hope that she is there to vouch for us and show us the ropes on the other side.”
Some DVD versions miss the most beautiful lines of Edward’s funeral eulogy. It follows like this:
“I know that when he died, his eyes were closed and his heart was open.”
This is true. When our loved ones die, even if their eyes are closed, their hearts will remain open; to love us yet again.
Written by: Fr. G. Kadooparayil MCBS
Translated by: Fr. Jaimon Mulappancheril MCBS