Criticism can create a lot of tension in your relationships. Being criticized can make you feel like you’re constantly under attack or as though nothing you do is good enough. A constantly criticized person can find it very difficult to take everything positively. If you find criticism has become an issue in your relationship, it’s important to nip it in the bud before the problem becomes any worse. Aggressive criticism can make more sophisticated relationships.
If you’re struggling with criticism in your relationship, you may want to consider the following:
Don’t retaliate: If you have a friend or partner who criticizes you with negative comments always, this can add fuel to the fire and if necessary, take a moment to let the urge subside.
You can speak to them gently but directly. Convey to them how it makes you feel to be criticized. While trying to convince them, avoid using ‘you’ phrases like ‘you always’, or ‘You don’t’. This is the best way to taking care that you are taking responsibility for your feelings.
You can accept the criticism you listen to if it is true and worthy. In these cases, it’s good to try to rephrase your points as ‘feedback’ rather than ‘criticism’. Try to make your approach a constructive one so your partner doesn’t feel like you’re trying to get at them. Focus on the situation rather than the person.
Concentrate on the positive as well as the negative. While you speak about your feelings, use polished language instead of saying them directly. Remind them of what you like as well as what you don’t. ‘I really enjoy spending time with your friends, but I think it would be nice to do something together this weekend’ instead of ‘We always hang around with your friends! I’m sick of it!’
Tell them how it has affected you. You can share your utmost feelings with your partner and how it is affected you so badly. Hurting ourselves can affect the smooth going of relationships. Hence take maximum as feedback rather than criticism. If your partner’s evaluation is fruitful, you should take it in a constructive spirit.