“I hate you,” hearing such a short statement from anyone can make you always upset. If it is from your kid, it will be a stab in your heart. Especially when you hear it for the first time you will be disturbed all the more. But with a little of calm and perspective, you’ll be able to pull that knife right out and focus on the love your child has for you.
The word hate, as it is so powerful, can make a very negative impact. You have to instruct your kids on the negative impact such expressions or reactions can make on a person.
When they say such words, be calm and to try to understand that they really didn’t mean not to love you. In fact, they love you so deeply that they take the freedom to hurl at you all their frustrations.
But how are you to respond to all that presumed hate?
First of all, it’s very important it shouldn’t be an occasion for an easy walkover. Be kind and gentle in fact, but be careful not to give too much airtime to the hate.
If your little one shouts “I hate you!” try replying with, “That’s a shame, as I love you” and carry on doing whatever you were doing. Do not over-discuss it. You never go to say how hurt you are, as your child will know how to attack your Achilles’ heel, and then they’ll use the same weapon the next time you’ve annoyed them, and the cycle will continue.
After a few times of listening your “I love you,” your child will not have the courage to shout at you, “I hate you.” Admittedly, they may try to find other ways of hurting you! But remember, they cannot go on disturbing you forever in the face of your unconditional love.