Whether the child is the eldest, the second, or the youngest, no matter their order of birth, many factors play an important role in the development of the child’s personality. But let us not forget that the most decisive factor is the environment in which he or she grows up, the family environment.
How do children of the same family become different?
Consider a two-year-old child in a family of three children. Whether he is the eldest child in the family or the second child among the three has a significant impact on his personality development. The elder child will be self-righteous and eager to dominate others. At the same time, the second child will be very insecure. However, the third child will grow up with the idea that life is meant to be pampered and enjoyed by everyone. This is the general experience that we see naturally.
However, this general conclusion has several drawbacks of its own. It is not enough to consider whether a two-year-old child is first, second, or third. The age difference between children is also an important factor here. If the age difference between the children is small, if one is only a year and a half or two years older than the next child, there will be more fights and competition between the children. Although the eldest is a boy and the second is a girl, their personal relationships are different. It is only after some age that personality development and differentiation according to the male-female classification becomes apparent in them.
The home environment at the time of birth of children has a significant impact on their personality development. A time when father was progressing in business and making profits. Children born at this time are more secure and confident. No doubt about it. On the other hand, a child born during a period of financial crisis and other types of crises, or when the father is ill or hospitalized, will absorb from his family environment messages of concern and uncertainty. In such circumstances, it will be difficult for the child to move forward in life with bold steps.
The parents’ emotional attachment to their children is also an issue that affects the kid’s physical and mental development. The mother, who desires a girl, gets a boy for the third time, and if a father who wanted an energetic and vivacious son gets a brooding and introverted son, usually sees a less emotional connection between these parents to such children.
The eldest child, till the age of two, remains the object of affection and the sole center of attention. So when he reigns as the king of the house, a new baby is born. The elder boy begins to express his anger, jealousy, and hatred towards the newcomer who has come to usurp his good fortune in various ways. Meanwhile, although a new person has come into our family, you are still the big one in this family; Only when parents and others convince the older child that you are important to us all and always will be, will he be able to tame his behavior.
As the second of three children turn two, he finds himself in a dilemma. He may want to hang out and play with his brother. At the same time, he becomes the center of attention of everyone, including his younger brother. This two-year-old is worried about his existence. He becomes addicted to the feeling that the new member of the family has usurped his place in the house. This is the time when parents should understand his little feelings and treat him in such a way that his confidence grows. We have to comfort him by convincing him that the new person who has come into our family is not someone who came from nowhere, but is our own person, and you have one more person to hang out with and play with.
If a mother in a family is the eldest child in her household, she quickly identifies with her eldest child and needs to be careful not to misunderstand and neglect the other children. For that, parents, especially mothers, should consciously try to understand the problems of each child and find solutions to them with love.
Whether the child is the eldest, the second or the youngest plays an important role in the development of the child’s personality. But let us not forget that the most decisive factor is the environment in which he or she grows up, which is the family environment.