We always need to feel good about ourselves for a better living. Self-confidence is the basic idea that we long for it. If we have a higher level of self-confidence, we have a higher motivation to do anything and achieve more in our life.
Plus, self-confidence helps to increase the chances of success when we do act. That’s because when we expect to fail, we are more likely to do so. For all these reasons, it makes sense that we would want to increase our self-confidence. Here are some tips and techniques to do it:
1. Know You are Worthy
The most important part of being confident is knowing your worth(Owens, 1993). We are all worthy as we are human beings. Yet some of us have a notion that deep-rooted in our minds that we are not worthy to do anything. Maybe we feel like we’re disposable, unlovable, or just not good in some way. But that’s not true.
Some of us have childhood experiences saying others we are worthless and wounded by their comparisons with others’ abilities. So, the early messages about our worth are internalized and become the basis for our beliefs about ourselves. For a long time we’ve had negative self-beliefs, the harder they are to override. It may require ongoing efforts to replace internal monologues of “I’m not worthy,” with “I am worthy,” or “I have just as much worth as anyone else.” Using positive affirmations like these can be a good way to retrain your brain to believe you have worth.
2. Realize Your Good Qualities
Knowing that you have good qualities is the another important aspect of confidence. This goes beyond simply having worth and involves recognizing that there are things about you that are good, maybe even great.
We all have good qualities. But if we spend our energy thinking about the things we lack, we have little time left to think about the good qualities that we have. If this is something you struggle with, you make benefit by making a list of all your positive qualities (things like humor, determination, humility, etc…) Then it’s just a matter of shifting your mindset to try to focus on these good qualities.
3. Understand Your Strengths
It can be beneficial to recognize our strengths along with the above things mentioned above. The situations give us the opportunities to realize our strengths. When we use our strengths, we can end up feeling more confident because we regularly experience being good at something. This reminds us that we are indeed good at things and have reasons to be confident in our skills. So, make a list of your strengths and see if you can find ways to use your strengths more often.
4. Love Yourself
Falling in love with yourself is the best way to develop your self-confidence. Many of us have a cruel inner critic, always putting us down for doing the smallest things wrong or for failing to be perfect. If this sounds like you, it can be helpful to start talking back to your inner critic.
For example, your inner critic may say something like, “You should have done better.” If you notice these self-critical inner thoughts, try to stand up for yourself by saying something like, “I did the best I could, and I’m proud of myself for the effort I put in.” This self-talk can help you re-write internal scripts that can help you become more confident.
5. Do Your Best
By doing our best, we have to lock our inner critic. Any time we hear those inner monologues starting to put us down, we can respond with, “I did my best.” And that is all we can do. When we do our best, we may be able to give ourselves a bit more of a break and perhaps be more self-accepting.